I recently took a trip back East to visit some family. Three of the family members I saw all said the same “compliment” to me within minutes of seeing them: YOU LOOK SKINNY. While generally most people would be thrilled to hear this and take it as a compliment, I find something extraordinarily aggravating about...
Recently I saw a commercial for a new movie entitled “The Duff”, which, apparently, stands for “designated ugly fat friend”. Without even seeing the movie, this bothered me on so many levels. First off, they casted Mae Whitman to play the “duff”. But here’s on problem: May Whitman is neither ugly nor fat (both of...
If you know me or have been following my blog, you know I’m pretty open about my past struggles. I am quick to disclose snippets of my history, because a) it makes me authentic and b) I no longer let those experiences define me. By externalizing them, I gain control of them. As Brene Brown...
Yesterday I was in a session with a client who was very upset over reactions she’s received over a recent tattoo. My client, who has several tattoos, showed her most recent tattoo to several people in her life. All of them, she reported with tears in her eyes, judged her newest work. Reactions varied from...
On more than one recent occasion I have heard, in reference to an overweight woman, “she has such a pretty face”. Although these words are likely intended as compliments, they infuriate me. Because what you are actually saying is that were her head on a different body, she would be attractive. Like people cannot be...
Dear Porter, I was just on a very arduous run, when it occurred to me that I absolutely had to write you a letter. The fact that I wrote most of this in my head while pushing myself to exhaustion will become important, but I will not give it the power to overshadow the rest...
Before you read this post, I’d like to preface it with the following: I wrote this post and asked a respected colleague of mine to read it and respond to it. This particular colleague works almost exclusively with clients who suffer from eating disorders, and had mentioned to me that it might be triggering for...
